If I was strong...

"I was inviting, her into my heart
But she was out riding in some other man's car
She was my night time, thought I was her star
Guess I was wrong, but see I'm strong
Wont take long for me to move on"
-Go on girl by Ne-Yo

I really got affected by this line...If I was strong, sana matagal ko nang nalimutan 'tong feelings ko for this "person" na wag nalang naten pangalanan dahil malamang ay may idea na kayo sa kanya lalo na ung mga tao malapit saken ngaung college...Most my tears if not all are because of "him".If he could just notice me in a different way and If I could just be as courageous as I can to say all the things I want him to know,maybe I will not feeling all the pain I'm feeling right now...I know I have nothing compare to the girl of his dreams...But, I'm really that weak to let him know all of this...

If I was strong, sana hindi na ako nasasaktan ng ganito...madali na sana para sa akin na mag-heal lahat ng sugat...pero,every wound will definitely result to a scar that will remind you of that pain you experienced acquiring the wound..Everyday, a new wound would cut my heart into another piece..siguro kung pwede ko lang ipakita ung puso ko..malamang maliliit na piraso nalang ito..parang isang baso na dahil sa sobrang pagkabasag nito ay mahirap nang ibalik sa dati...Sa araw-araw na ginawa ng diyos na magkikita kami, nadadagdagan ng panibagong sugat...parang siya mismo ung sumasaksak sa akin ng kutsilyo at unti-unting pinapatay ung puso ko...But still, I'm not able to protect myself from getting stabbed in the heart..It's like I'm willing to get hurt and receive all the pain dahil mahal ko siya...Tanga ba ako o tanga talaga...my friends are aware of this..they tell me to forget "him" and move-on..but how can I if he already made so many wounds in my heart that everytime I see him, It all comes back...I really thought that I already forgot him but eventually he will return to the picture and mess up my "already peaceful life"...well, siguro kaya hindi ko pa rin mabuksan ung puso ko para sa iba eh kasi hindi pa ako ready magmove-on...pero when is the time that I will move-on???

Sabi nga ng isang kaibigan, "You have two choices. It's either kalimutan mo na kahit mahirap o ipagpatuloy mo pa rin kahit sobra ka nang nasasaktan". There is no easy way..Mahirap pero alam ko sa sarili ko na ang pinili ko sa dalawang yon ay ung pangalawa...I guess these are the consequences of my choice...