Take a break!!!

Well, kung bakit wala akong masyadong posts dito ay dahil sa isa ko pang blog. Mawalang-galang na kung ako'y magpropromote ng isa ko pang blog...

http://walaakopakialam.livejournal.com
http://walaakopakialam.livejournal.com
http://walaakopakialam.livejournal.com

Ito'y puno ng mga kaisipang hindi ko pa nailalahad dito o sa aking Multiply site man. Ito'y sabihin na nating "secret realm" ko. Konti pa lang ang nakakaalam nito. At kung gusto mong pumunta doon, pwedeng pwede.. Computer, Internet Connection at Isang Masayang Isip at Puso lang ang kailangan mo...

If I was strong...

"I was inviting, her into my heart
But she was out riding in some other man's car
She was my night time, thought I was her star
Guess I was wrong, but see I'm strong
Wont take long for me to move on"
-Go on girl by Ne-Yo

I really got affected by this line...If I was strong, sana matagal ko nang nalimutan 'tong feelings ko for this "person" na wag nalang naten pangalanan dahil malamang ay may idea na kayo sa kanya lalo na ung mga tao malapit saken ngaung college...Most my tears if not all are because of "him".If he could just notice me in a different way and If I could just be as courageous as I can to say all the things I want him to know,maybe I will not feeling all the pain I'm feeling right now...I know I have nothing compare to the girl of his dreams...But, I'm really that weak to let him know all of this...

If I was strong, sana hindi na ako nasasaktan ng ganito...madali na sana para sa akin na mag-heal lahat ng sugat...pero,every wound will definitely result to a scar that will remind you of that pain you experienced acquiring the wound..Everyday, a new wound would cut my heart into another piece..siguro kung pwede ko lang ipakita ung puso ko..malamang maliliit na piraso nalang ito..parang isang baso na dahil sa sobrang pagkabasag nito ay mahirap nang ibalik sa dati...Sa araw-araw na ginawa ng diyos na magkikita kami, nadadagdagan ng panibagong sugat...parang siya mismo ung sumasaksak sa akin ng kutsilyo at unti-unting pinapatay ung puso ko...But still, I'm not able to protect myself from getting stabbed in the heart..It's like I'm willing to get hurt and receive all the pain dahil mahal ko siya...Tanga ba ako o tanga talaga...my friends are aware of this..they tell me to forget "him" and move-on..but how can I if he already made so many wounds in my heart that everytime I see him, It all comes back...I really thought that I already forgot him but eventually he will return to the picture and mess up my "already peaceful life"...well, siguro kaya hindi ko pa rin mabuksan ung puso ko para sa iba eh kasi hindi pa ako ready magmove-on...pero when is the time that I will move-on???

Sabi nga ng isang kaibigan, "You have two choices. It's either kalimutan mo na kahit mahirap o ipagpatuloy mo pa rin kahit sobra ka nang nasasaktan". There is no easy way..Mahirap pero alam ko sa sarili ko na ang pinili ko sa dalawang yon ay ung pangalawa...I guess these are the consequences of my choice...

IF YOU DON'T WANT A PEACEFUL LIFE,DON'T TRY TO RUIN MINE...COZ I"M TELLING YOU...YOU CAN"T....(PART2)

Where did I left off????...

Oh yeah....Just don't get me pissed off and you will see the other side of me...I really think that person needs some counselling or maybe a priest that can do an exorcism rite...because I really think that person is possessed...a disturbed soul...Well, I don't want to scare people off because of what I am saying in this entry, you know....It's just that I want to make it clear that I'm not a coward....I'm sure there are people around me who think that I am like that...You would see me cracking up some jokes and laughing heavily with my friends....that's the normal me..I don't want let these issues disturb me to death...I don't want to be confined in a mental hospital at a young age...come on....



P.S.
To the persons concerned, especially to YOU....I'm a mature person and I don't think you are acting your age...this is my first and last entry about the issue...I don't want to store up a huge amount of negative energy as possible....I think you're a big dump truck of "a word I don't want to say because it is something vulgar"...but then, things are said and done...we can't change was has happened...well,I want to avoid you and I DON'T WANT TO BE INVOLVED WITH YOU ANYMORE....YOU'RE GIVING ME A HUGE AND NASTY HEADACHE,YOU KNOW...SO KILL YOURSELF,PLEASE...

IF YOU DON'T WANT A PEACEFUL LIFE,DON'T TRY TO RUIN MINE...COZ I"M TELLING YOU...YOU CAN"T....(PART1)

Well, sa totoo lang....ayoko ko ng magcomment sa isang incident na nangyari...(I don't really think it's an incident, you know..)...

Feeling ko kasi planado lahat ng nangyari eh....ayoko na ring magsalita kung ano ung incident na yun for the benefit of those people who are very much involved....

The reason it took me a long time before I say my concerns in this issue is that I don't want a fight...It's not that I'm a coward not to defend myself and accept all the things that are said against me..It's just that I'm a mature person and I DEFINITELY know myself...I know that it's not true...If I add more to this, It will just make it worst...

So much for that..

I'm a Peaceful person..as much as possible I don't want to enter fights like this...I just ignore people who are definitly wasting their time in trying to put me down...I don't really get affected by the things that they say...DO THEY KNOW ME THAT WELL TO SAY THOSE THINGS??? I think not...I don't give a damn to stupid people who give me a freakin messy life...I don't want to waste my time because I have a life ahead of me...come on...I love what is happening to my life right know....I have good and loving friends, a very supportive family, a prestigious university where I am studying, and a great social life...I think they just envy me for what I have...maybe they are jealous...the advice I can give them is to SHUT UP and MAKE YOURSELVES USEFUL...for god's sake...If you will just try and make other people's lives miserable like yours, I THINK YOU SHOULD KILL YOURSELF ALREADY...I mean, to lessen terrorists in the world...If the time comes that the things they are saying are already and definitely below the belt...then that's the signal that I should gear up and ready myself for a war...anything, even if its just one statement, just be ready because you don't want to see me angry...YOU DON'T LIKE ME WHEN I'M ANGRY....YOU WILL NOT LIKE ME WHEN I'M ANGRY....I'M DAMN SURE OF THAT...

I FREAKIN' LOST MY DAMN PHONE!!!!

JANUARY 15,2008, TUESDAY...

I thought i started the day with the right note.....

I thought...

I woke up late than the usual time that I was supposed to wake up coz it's our exam week...the thought of answering the exam actually gives me the creeps....well, enough about the exams...I did my usual routine every morning...I experienced the usual twists and turns of the roads going to my school....

During my journey, I was inside a jeep (UST-morayta) when IT all happened....

I was sitting beside my brother when I put my F****N Phone inside my pocket...me and my brother don't usual enter the school at the same gate because our buildings are not actually that near from each other.....so he got off the jeep first...when the jeep was approaching the gate where I normally enter..this woman rode the jeep I was in...a schoolmate of mine moved beside me but this woman parted us so she can sit between us....she was so "malikot" and all but I didn't mind her at all because my brain is full of thoughts about the exam....so when I got off the jeep, I reached for my Phone inside my pocket and It was gone....I want to think like I just put it inside my bag but when i checked it...there is no sign of my phone....i really panicked....thanks to my friend Aaron that i was able to contact my Mom about what happened....i really cried so hard that i don't care if everyone is looking at me....i don't know if im just careless or SOMEONE really stole my phone...i don't know....

It really made my mood for this day bad....as in really BAD!!!!! I hope i can move on easily....I HOPE....


P.S.

TO YOU WHO HAS MY PHONE RIGHT NOW.... i hope you're satisfied with what you got....i hope you're conscience will disturb you to death.....i hope the thought of calling me up and returning my phone will cross your intellectual mind...well, may god bless you holy soul at least....

Let me just start,PLEASE!!!!!

Well, i'm back in the fray....so what???? I just hope that THIS blog of mine will be a permanent one......I mean, i already made a couple of blogs but none of them was a ble to live a long lifespan....their mortality rate was just too awful to look at....It's kinda hard for me to sustain a blog, you know....With all the HARD,OUT-OF-THIS-WORLD school stuff, EXHAUSTING org thingy, and some other nonsense stuff (Do I sound quite exaggrated???? Tell me if I do..don't worry, I don't bite...) , life seems kinda angry with me... It makes me bleed profusely... add some peer and love stuff... It makes me really sick... Well, actually I'm sick at the moment....

I'm giving you a peek of my life.....

My thoughts, ideas of different and weird kinds, my feelings, my angst, and everything...





So sit back.Relax.I'm now taking you to my Neverland......